I live on the edge of a cellular dead zone.
How dead it is depends on the time of year. In the brutally cold subzero of midwinter, I can often get a pretty decent signal - enough to stream videos or watch YouTube sometimes.
In the Summer, though, it’s a good day if I can get a web page to load slower than the slowest dial-up. Most of the time I can’t load anything.
My theory, though I’ve never confirmed it, is that the Summer tourists who flock to the nearby town where I work overload the tower with the ambient draw of hundreds upon hundreds of cellular devices.
And I’m on call. I take a lot of call during the Summer, including some back-to-back, week-long shifts. I had to make some back-up contact arraignments in case my phone glitched out this weekend.
My phone really should have been replaced months ago. It’s been glitching badly for a long time now and I honestly expect it to self-destruct at any moment. I finally ordered a new phone. It was supposed to be here by last Friday but…well. When you live rurally, you learn patience in a big way and you find out fast that deliveries get here when they get here.
We don’t have big box stores in town. There’s exactly one local grocery store and it’s notoriously overpriced and no guarantee they’ll have what you want in stock.
I don’t have internet at home either. I used to but then it quit working and the company never followed up on my repeated calls reporting the outages, only giving me vague Night Vale-esque responses. We can’t send a technician, they told me. A facility is non-responsive.
The company did, however, continue to bill me for the services they were not providing and then threatened to turn off the internet connection I didn’t have when I did not send payment. To this day, I still regularly get letters from a collection agency about it.
I become limited to using the internet at my workplace or at the various coffee shops in town that have become my third spaces.
Summer here in the Northwoods is a warm explosion of life and greenery and it’s honestly nice to just be at home on my days off and focus on my little hobbies and interests without worrying about checking social media every five minutes or the ever-present fear of missing something.
I went swimming with the chaos gremlins where a river empties into one of the largest freshwater lakes in the world. I play with my dogs, I do constant kennel maintenance - the Summertime aspects of having a sled dog team. I dig in the garden, I wander through the woods. I found a bunch of pitcher plants blooming in the bog the other day.
If I miss something online, I miss something. It’s not the end of the world. The daylight hours are long and there is much to do.
Still, as a fanfic writer and someone with a social media circle, I do feel a weird disconnect this time of year when I’m not caught up on all the current memes and discussions and interests and hyperfixations of my online peeps.
I think about y’all a lot. I draft posts in my head that I never make. There’s a lot I don’t share. There’s a lot that I’d like to.
Work is wild. Shifts are long and relentless. I don’t always have the energy (or time) to write and edit. And I’m trying really hard to strike a work/life balance for the sake of my own mental health.
I’m starting to feel happy again. Truthfully I started feeling happy again at the end of Winter. But I was suspicious at first, terrified of slipping back into the bone-weary inertia that had plagued my brain since last Summer.
Not gonna’ lie - last Summer was a blur. Maybe some of my mental nosedive was me NOT taking time for myself and not striking a work/life balance.
But whatever the case, I’m still here. Maybe not as present as I have been, maybe not as present as I’d like to be. But I am determined to enjoy the fleeting Northwoods Summer while it lasts.